I asked my friends on my Facebook what advice they would give to someone getting married and this is what I received and I have added my two cents to it:
- Don’t try to replace God with your husband. Your husband is not there to fulfill all your needs. Ephesians 3:16-20
- Choose your battles wisely- especially the first year. There is a lot of growing and development in that period.
- Pray together. “A couple that prays together, stays together.”
- Prioritize and stand firm: God - Husband - your children - extended family. I find this hard with my family in Ontario. Sometimes I regret choosing to move so far away but sometimes I am thankful that I moved so far away. But I do feel bad that I deny my parents of their grandchildren, but I chose my husband and I have to chose for our family. It’s hard to fight with my Mom and listen to her cry, but it’s what I chose.
- Even if you believe that 90% of the problems in your marriage are Brad’s fault, that leaves 10% that is yours to deal with, so make sure that you are working on you as well.
- Communication- Talk lots, not about fluffy stuff, continue to get to know each other, it will only help your marriage grow more and more each year. Turn off the TV or whatever is your distraction (scrapbooking) and dedicate time to spend together. 6 nights a week scrapbooking, one night for Brad. That sounds fair. :)
- Don’t be selfish! The first year of marriage presents a lot of bumps as you are learning how 2 become 1. I believe that selfishness is probably the biggest reason that marriages fail. When people talk to you and say “you” they will soon mean Angelina and Brad, not just Angelina.
- Last and definitely not least if there are things to you need to deal with, deal with them now. DO NOT bring them into your marriage. If you need help, get help – your marriage depends on it.
I found a quote that I really like. “Marriage is a journey toward an unknown destination – the discovery that people must share not only what they don’t know about each other, but what they don’t know about themselves.” Michael Ventura I am still learning things about myself.
“You” meaning Brad AND Angelina are about to embark on an exciting journey -- a new life together. I strongly believe in what the Word tells us in Titus. That the older women need to come along side of the younger women and teach them. I’m not that much older :) but I want you to know that I am there for you. If you don’t want my advice than I have a ton of books you could borrow and there are many godly women in our church who would be glad to come alongside you. You are not alone and whatever you may face on your journey please know that you are not the first and you are not alone. But we also want to rejoice with you and celebrate with you, with all the great joys and special moments that you and Brad will share.
I feel like all I have been telling you about is all the trials and hard things of marriage. But marriage is work, kind of like a job, but a job that you are excited about. That when you wake up in the morning you are excited to see Brad beside you and after a day at work that you will be excited to go home and spend time with Brad. Your marriage is the most enjoyable and rewarding job you will ever have.
What a wonderful time in your life that you are about to begin! Have fun, this is the time in your life that little girls dream of. I know my girls are already planning their weddings and who they are going to marry. A little scary.
Remember your wedding is only one day (hopefully it won’t be as eventful as mine!), and your marriage is forever. Enjoy every moment!