Monday, March 03, 2008

More Questions Answered

I am having fun answering the questions. I should do this questionnaire thing more often. Here are a couple more questions for tonight:

What was your dream job when you were younger?

This one has an interesting story. When I was in my teens I wanted to be a singer. I wrote all about it in my journal. I wanted to play keyboard and I knew the make and model, I think I even attempted to write a song or two. But that dream disappeared as I realized that maybe I didn't have the talent. So I wanted to be teacher, but the staff in the Resource room in high school told me that I wouldn't make it through University because my marks were so low. So really I didn't know what I wanted to do. I ended up taking adveristing at Sheridan College in Oakville, ON. In my last entry I told you how I went on tour speaking in high schools. Well, I played keyboards and sang a little in the band. When were on break from tour over Christmas I went home and was reading through my old journals and I came across my I want to be a singer entries and had a good laugh at how it had all come to reality, in His timing not mine.

What is your biggest struggle?

Without hesitation I would say my self-esteem. I really struggle with being happy with who I am and who I was created to be. I tend to focus on my negative attributes and have days where I would just rather stay in bed. A lot of prayer goes into the times where I have to get up and speak, God gives me the passion and love for the people that I am speaking to. There is no way that I could do it on my own. When I was in college I had to do a presentation in front of the class. In my 20 minute presentation I said "um" like 70 times. I have come along way since then but I still struggle with who I am, and understanding that I am loved when sometimes I feel so unlovable.

I made stupid choices when I was younger that have made me feel like a lower class of human being. Part of writing my book was me dealing with these issues. The first few chapters I go through some of my struggles. I did a lot of crying when I wrote my book. I would be sitting at the computer crying as I relived some of the tough stuff I had to go through to get me where I am today. I have to admit that I still struggle with it to this day, but I am feeling better about myself and who I have been created to be. Now that I have two daughters I am seeing things so much clearer than ever before. I want so much more for them. I continuously encourage them and build them up to try new things and make positive choices.

Good question!

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